Vulnerability is Power

“What happens when people open their hearts?" "They get better.”  ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

     Class on the first day of a new semester usually means that I will sit in the back of the classroom quietly and keep to myself. However, the only open seating for my class called "Communications and Culture" was all up in the front. Uncomfortably, I took my seat right smack in the middle of the front row. The first thing we did in this class was watch the Oprah speech from the Golden Globes. When the speech ended, my professor was asking my class for our perspectives on the insight Oprah provided in her speech. In specific, my professor asked us to shine light on Oprah's statement, “What I know for sure is speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have.” This is the first day of class mind you, I would never in a million years raise my hand on the first day to provide some sort of insight, I usually leave that to the outspoken students. However, my hand shot right up in the air. Oprah's quote was so relatable to a lot of the points I try to validate throughout my blog, so I knew I had to speak out. I told my professor, "I think Oprah is telling the public to basically be vulnerable, get rid of your wall, and tell YOUR truth because ultimately being honest with yourself is going to be your road to showing not only yourself who you are but also showing the world who you are and that is brave." That my friends, is exactly how the word "vulnerability" came about the topic of todays post. Who knew good things can come about from sitting in the front row? 

     Commonly, when we think about vulnerability we think about letting our guard down and opening up to other people right? Hmmmm I started to ponder that a little bit deeper. Vulnerability is definitely opening up to others but what about opening up to yourself? I have once heard someone tell me, "The scariest thing you can do is self reflect, and look at yourself in the eyes." Take it from me, there is a lot of truth behind that statement. I mean my whole entire blog is a very deep self reflection so, I know for a fact that sometimes digging deep within yourself can be the most challenging thing that you can do. That brings me to my point. To me, being vulnerable starts within. Knowing yourself, self reflecting, becoming self aware and everything in relation to that is essentially a road to self love. Being vulnerable not just with others, but being vulnerable with YOU is going to allow you to know who you are. I can see how many people in my everyday life are in this extremely lost stage of life where they are constantly seeking answers in all the wrong places (we are all guilty of this sometimes). However, I can see that often times they are struggling because they have no idea who they are because they fear themselves, they don't like who they see in the mirror, and they are searching for answers through voids. Sometimes, I don't really know if they are even aware that they do not even know who they are, and that can potentially be the root of their problem. They might just be used to this consistent cycle of "searching" that they are not even aware of the problem upfront. In order to love who you are, you have to know the person who is looking back at you in your reflection. You should love that person who is looking back at you, but like I say, we can just take the baby steps toward finding self love here on my blog because I know it is not easy. There have been times where I would see myself and recognize that the person in the mirror was obviously me, but at the same time it was not me. It is a weird feeling to not know the person who you live with every single day. However, I promise you that once you find them and get to know them it is almost as if all of the little scars that are inside of you start to stitch back together and mend. Knowing, validating and being aware of your truth is what is going to one day lead you to open up to others. For me, when I open up to others I can see that keeping all of me to myself is almost selfish. Once I started to see who I was, I realized that I have a lot to offer this world. It would be selfish to keep my truth to myself, we all have so much to offer others. Sometimes, your truth could lead someone to a brand new start, give them new perspective, let people know they are not alone and maybe even change a life. Your bravery and vulnerability is not weak, it is strength. As Oprah says, it is the most powerful tool we have. Open up to yourself first and then start to give yourself to others. You never know how much you could affect someone and others can affect you.

   In a class last semester, we learned about how people fall into depression because of the societal standard of not showing emotion, feelings, and etc. to avoid looking weak. This was especially common in men. It really upset me that people in this world feel like they cannot be their authentic self because that would mean weakness. Like I said, in my eyes, being your authentic self is strength. Expressing your feelings, emotions and etc. will authenticate not only you but validate to others who you are as well. It is so brave to be your authentic self without fear of judgement, holding yourself back and hiding yourself. Speaking your truth is strength! Speaking your truth does not have to be something as deep as sexual harassment, discrimination and things of that nature. Your truth can be as simple as literally just recognizing who you are from the outside and in. In fact, I have a theory. I think that when someone is disconnected from themselves they often unconsciously pull away from other people because they are so used to not letting anyone in, let alone letting themselves in. What other tactic would their be besides to pull away and run for the hills? When you are trying to invest yourself into someone but realizing that they don't even know you, being aware that in order to progress in the relationship you have to open up, the end result is to bolt. These people that do run away from relationships, often times do not even realize what they are doing and I believe that their subconscious is probably running out of frustration and fear. How frustrating would it be to be with someone who doesn't even know you? How scary would it be to try and figure out who you are and share it with someone else when you have no idea where to start? I know opening up is not an easy thing to do, but it is not fair to try to invest yourself into someone when your whole self is unavailable. You have to know who you are in order to love who you are as well as love someone else. 

    My point is to be vulnerable with yourself first and then be vulnerable with others. I just said to a friend last night, "God probably won't let anyone in your life until you start to let yourself in. Find you and love you first, because you need yourself more than anyone else needs you right now." When I say vulnerability I do not mean find yourself just so you can have a successful romantic relationship. I mean find yourself so you finally can see yourself through a lense full of truth, love and compassion. Start to put little band-aids on your scars and know that keeping up a wall your whole life is not fair to you nor is it fair to others who want to know you authentically because trust me, people do. I know people build walls because of hurt, fear and etc. However, the best way to overcome is always going to be facing the truth, accepting and knowing that it is always ok to have scars but it is never ok to supress them. You will never know you, let alone be able to build a relationship full of authenticity without showing someone else who you are in every sense. Break down that wall little by little and start to see who you are, how much you are capable of, and let people know who your are because that is the bravest thing that you can. "The truth will set you free," is one of my all time favorite quotes. Know your truth, share your truth and be VULNERABLE because that is where your answers are, as well as the road to self love.