Being in Love

"Go and love someone exactly how they are. And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest, version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered."

-Wes Angelozzi

Who doesn't love being in love?! It is like a high that no drug in this world can override. For this segment I am going to discuss the ways I view being in love, flawed views on love and how powerful being in love is. I have asked so many people for their perspectives throughout writing everything in this blog. I got a really great analogy from a girl named Taylor Oxley for this section that went like this, "K so here's the thing, y'all got this love thing mixed up like salt and sugar but it's really as distinct as oil in water." I loved this metaphor because often times people think that being in love has to be some perfect and ideal situation where you compliment each other in every way (salt and sugar), passion is so high that you have butterflies 24/7 and you always see eye to eye. To me, that is not what love looks like. Oil and water do not even taste good together or permanently mix right? However, they do mix temporarily when they are shaken but they always return to that same position of oil laying on top of water. When we are shaken, stirred or fumbled with and we continue to find our way to back to that neutral state of "oil and water" that to me is love. Being in love is when you can disagree, fight and forgive and do whatever it takes to get back to a neutral and calm place because you know that your love is true and it will persevere. I guess what I am trying to say is that love is not perfect and it is crazy for people to expect things like "butterflies" all the time or to expect to never be disappointed. Love is awesome because you are giving your whole self to another human being. I don't know about you but I have never met a human being who is perfect. Therefore, it is important to remember that love is never going to be perfect but that does not mean that your love is not true. Love is work and effort but it should be worth it.​​

Many people now days have this very strange outlook on relationships as if it is an ownership instead of a companionship. Love is about growth. We are constantly evolving as humans and sometimes we grow with our partner or sometimes we out grow one another. However, it is important to be able to accept one another's growth and encourage it, regardless if it might get in the way of your wants and needs because love is allowing the other to spread their wings and hoping you can go along for the ride. Love is not jealousy, control and manipulation. It does not give you the power to run someones life. If your love is true you will unselfishly want the best for them. It is so important in order to be in a relationship in which is healthy, to respect their life as an individual and they respect yours. Often times if there is an overbearing sense of control and a lack of independency that can cause people to pull away and become resentful. Which brings me to my favorite words when I think of being in love which are honor, respect, value and trust. It is so important to honor your commitment, value their love, respect their wishes and trust one another. Remember those four words always. Like I said before, love is not perfect but it should not be used to inflict a sense of ownership. People do not get into relationships because they want to lose their identity and lose themselves due to someone else's control. They get into a relationship to emphasize their happiness and instill their love into someone else in which should be fun! It should overall enhance your life and not change who you are. If someone is trying to change you or control you then that is not true love. I think that being in love can naturally change you in positive ways but it’s the type of change that is negative and forced that is an issue. I often hear people say that love should never hurt. I do not believe that at all. "We hurt the people we love the most," is a statement that I firmly believe in. Relationships are the farthest things from easy and nobody is perfect so I definitely believe that love can hurt sometimes. So, yes, love can definitely hurt us but it should not ever lead us to lose ourselves. Love should enhance who you are from your core and allow you to feel empowered.

It is this weird feeling when you're in love ya know? It is euphoric almost. When your soul and your heart align with someone else it is beyond words and there is no way to explain it. As humans we think we know everything we want in a relationship right? They have to be hot, funny, charming, kind, have a good job, and the list goes on. In hindsight, you can meet that one person that meets all of your criteria but it still might not feel right. Being in love is not about what your physical being is telling you it thinks it needs. It is about if your souls and your hearts are connecting. It has nothing to do with your physical being, it is entirely spiritual. I probably sound crazy to some but I truly believe that love cannot be forced and only your heart gets to choose who you fall in love with. To me, love is beyond our physical bodies and it is all tied to who we are on the inside in which can be so hard for our human minds to seek out and understand. "What the hell! This person is seriously perfect but why am I not into it??" You do not get to choose, your brain does not get to decide. My sister in law once told me, "Your brother and I obviously have extreme differences as far as our personalities but our hearts are the same and that is why it works." Our physical bodies can of course try and tell you what you need but your soul is what is going to lead you to what you GENUINELY need. Isn't that cool? For once in our lives we don't have to do all the thinking! Thank god! This is actually an intimate and natural process.

Being in love is such a strong vessel that fuels our souls. It is so passionate and the farthest thing from simplistic. With that, just make sure when you love you love them in ways that are authentic. There is nothing more powerful than someone loving you and seeing all the wonders of the world in one human being when there are billions of people in our world and they have connected with you. What a concept. Being in love could make the most hateful person kind, the most selfish person selfless and can allow the most heartbroken person to pick up the pieces and put them back together. When we are in love it is almost as if we have this faintly less harsh view on the world around us. Someone in this world sees you in your purest most vulnerable form and loves you for who you in which allows you to feel a bit softer. Love allows you to feel safe and calm in every situation life throws at you because you know that despite the stress, anxiety, and everything else that comes along with life because you know that someone out there loves you and just knowing that makes everything feel like it is going to be ok. I wish I could give you an explanation as to why being in love makes us feel this sense of ease. Maybe it is because when we are so happy and giddy it allows us to really not care what the world throws at us because of the pure fact that someone loves us and it makes us feel unstoppable. Hmmm maybe I am on to something. Maybe love makes us "unstoppable." I feel like a lot of people can catch my drift here. Being in love is absolutely insane. I am just trying to find the words or the phrase that can really get my point across that being in love is all-powerful and an absolutely indescribable drive that we crave. I am realizing that once again I cannot find that word or phrase because this idea of love is just TOO complex! In my eyes, being in love is so profound and one of the few truly beautiful things this messed up world of ours has left to offer. Cherish it. "Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Corinthians 13:4-8.